By Jack Breene ’11, Staff Writer and Jack Lawler ’11, Humor Editor

Mom and Dad, thank you for supporting me in so many ways, especially financially. Sophie, that time you made me holdup that Chuckie Cheese’s in a loin-cloth.  It was definitely the best Labor Day ever. Drake and Josh, you have been so meaningful to me, like when Drake and I went on the roller coaster, or when Josh and I went out for the football team. Backyard Baseball, my 1999 would not have been the same without you. Dem Brooklyn Streets, I owe my mistrust of authority figures to you. Lion King 2, Simba’s Pride, you taught me a lot about the value of friendship, and Timon and Pumba, you have opened my mind to the benefits of interspecies relationships.  Ms Galvin, never change.  Build-a-Bear Workshop, thanks for getting me through all those lonely Friday nights. Haters, you are welcome. Mr. Gilbreath, thanks for giving me a higher grade because I play lacrosse for you. Finally, O.J. Simpson, thank you for being my moral compass.