By Tucker Iverson ’12, Staff Writer, with contributions from Steven Uberoi ’12

• Open Campus.
• Instead of the lame, barely audible bell, we should have Morgan Freeman’s voice reading us what class we have next. Individually.
• We should have an open campus.
• A complimentary Parlin vest upon graduation.
• Getting a muffin that hasn’t been coughed on for answering the Green fact of the week.
• Plush leather chairs (recline optional) in auditorium.  These should also include a massage function for the viewing of global speakers.
• This school could use open campus as a tool to further the research and development of the strategic plan.
• Ingredient list of the cafeteria food (because we want to recreate those delicious, homemade clam* strips at home)
• I realize that my Morgan Freeman idea may be implausible, but trust me, it will be worth it to have a man with a voice comparable to milk and honey and lotion and velvet and silk and the smooth skin of an onion and a baby’s bottom all rolled into one, sultry announcement.  Imagine him saying your name…Now you’re hooked, aren’t you?
• Mmmmm clam* strips 😉
• Pajama day.
• Conveyor belts all around the school.
• Seriously though, why can’t we have open campus?
• More Smartboard utilization.
• Live Music Tuesdays: featuring Panic Switch!
• Dragons.
• With the advent of an open campus, the reverse osmosis of the flux capacitor located in the zenith of the natatorium should, undoubtedly, become extremely lofty in the tactic it utilizes.  Thus, within the lair of Twyla Tharp, the seekers will uncover the antediluvian treasure buried on the school grounds.  If I had more time, I would definitely go into more detail.
• The library should loan out jetpacks, and they should NEVER run out.
• Morgan Freeman…Think about it.