By Jeff Peng ’12, Staff Writer and Ground Ball Specialist

Every morning, my iHome plays some Dave Matthews Band, pumping up my room with some chill tuneskis. Word to the wise: NEVER use the radio, or risk waking up to Ke$ha EVERY morning… take my word on that…you’ll thank me later.  After Dave Matthews starts jamming, it’s SNOOOOZE CITY, ‘cause oversleeping is for the weak. The snooze button is my little buddy–I’m talking still sleeping, but to DMB. By 7:00am, I’m energized, and READY. TO. GO. I grab some breakfast (anything with carbs and protein) and whip up a protein shake. Brocial studies 101 dictates: ALWAYS have a protein shake.

Bros follow this same routine every morning so listen carefully:

1) Throw on clean clothes cuz you gotta be fresh. My wardrobe looks something like this every day of lax season.  Sick kicks. Mid Calves. Boxers not briefs. Nice shorts. Collared shirt with lax pinny underneath (just in case). Maybe a dome-piece. And can’t forget the Old Spice. I always look AND smell classy, ladies.

2) Hit up the mirror and make sure the lettuce is flowin’ (CANNOT stress this enough). You know what they say, the flow makes the bro. As soon as I’m done prepping, I throw my backpack and lax gear into the Beemer and head out. It’s time to join brociety.

Everyday I roll into school, windows down, blasting the song “Come Clean” by Hillary Duff so chicas thinks I’m sensitive. (Ladies, let’s talk sometime). Before I get out of the car, I make sure to crack the window a little so my twig can get some air. I gotta make sure he’s safe–we’ve been through a lot together (like 4 championships or something). People always ask me, “Hey Jeff, why are you taking such easy classes as a senior?” Excuse me…? There’s no calculus in D1 lax. What’s 14 – 5? It’s the score to Saturday’s Hopkins/ Maryland game. That’s the only math I need to know. Then they ask me, “Well Jeff, what about reading?  Isn’t that important?”  Nah, that ain’t me. The team name on the front of my jersey is all that matters. And Health? They teach you not to smoke. Well… I smoke chumps on the lax fields errryday. I guess they couldn’t teach me to be above that influence.

Often times, you can find me at school just kickin’ back. The best part of school is seeing all my dudes and dudettes during the frees. What can I say? They love seeing me, and I love seeing them. We even have nicknames for each other. It’s cool…that’s how you know we’re tight. My bros call me Penger, chicks call me Penguin or Jeffy (it’s cute I guess), I’ve even heard The Abominable Broman during winter lax… sounds intimidating, no big deal. During my numerous frees, I also never miss an opportunity to hit the walls for some chill wallball seshes. Otherwise, I’m napping so I can go full throttle during practice. School’s chill most of the time–you just have to know how to ride it out.

When the last bell rings, I know I’m in a new world. The world of sweet, sweet lax. I’m talkin ground balls, top cheese, rusty gates, and all that good stuff. I’m ferocious during practice–definitely the fiercest. I’m always out for blood like a hungry jungle cat. People sometimes ask me, “Hey Penger, do you always have to show off?” Uhh chyeah.. cuz I can. B2Bs? No problem. Sick tricks? On lockdown. Rippin corners? Child’s play. Break ankles? All I do is dangle. How important is it to be the loudest on the field? Why don’t you ask the middies I guard? I’m all they hear at night.

Bro life is chill, mis amigos, but it’s work. After practice I carbo-load, eat lots of steak, and crash. Maybe text a few maidens here and there. It’s tough work being the animal that I am. I’m exhausted by the end of the day.  I tuck in the d-pole next to me and then I do the same for myself, and I’m ready for eternal slumber. Max hours, max power. That’s why I wake up like a grizzly. That’s why I can “D” up poor kids like its nobody’s business. Sleep like a king, live like a king.

Peace, Love, and Lax, my friends….