By Greg Keenan  Ruda ’13, Humor Editor, 

Normally this is the spot where witty remarks are made, and the writer has a beautifully crafted introduction….I don’t…. So… I mean the title is pretty self-explanatory… What more do you want from me?  Like seriously, what more could I add to make you enjoy this more?!

Hey there… Sorry about that freak-out… But yeah this article should be good… so how ‘bout them Yanks?

Friday

6:30-7:30– Play with my cat, Georgio Harmoni

7:30-8:00- Try to get a friend to come over for the next day.  It’s always really weird, because whenever I ask, my friends are ALWAYS busy for the entire weekend!

8:00-9:00– Catch up on One Tree Hill.

9:00- The night usually has been crazy enough, so I get some well-deserved rest.

Saturday

6:30-7:00- Eat Breakfast.  It usually consists of Nesquik or Ovaltine (depending on my mood obviously), and Fruity Pebbles

7:00-7:30- Feed, bathe, and care for my hermit crabs.

7:30-9:00- Play with my Hermit Crabs

9:00-12:00- World of Warcraft

12:00-12:10- Check on my hermit crabs.

12:10-2:00- Write Ugly Betty fan fiction online.  You can check out my work if you want at www.uglybetterfanfiction.net

2:00-2:30- See if any of my friends have any plans… they usually can’t… one time me and a friend hung out! almost…  he said he could hang but then said that he had to go to a Jets game… it was weird because it was April.

2:30- 3:00- Usually I get the courage to call a girl to ask to hang out, but once they pickup I don’t respond and I turn off the phone.  Then they call me, and I don’t respond.  But then they call my voicemail and hear my name, and thus knew I called them.  It always leaves for an interesting Monday morning.

3:00-6:00- Do my homework.  I do extra assignments to keep me on my toes.  I save the real fun (math homework) for Sunday, to give me something to look forward to.

6:00-9:00- Baby-sit for these kids down the street.  I make 3 bucks an hour!  And I just get to hang around and do nothing on a Saturday night!  How awesome is that!  I feel so bad for the rest of the kids at Newark academy who party and stuff on weekends.  I’m making serious cash!

9:00-10:00- Feed the cat as my parents are usually out with friends or partying.

10:00- Go to sleep.  I usually stay up late on Saturday nights… I even make it to – at times if I’m feeling pretty outrageous.

Sunday

7:30-8:00- I usually have a later breakfast here.  I have some Motts Apple sauce, and some Kraft Mac N’ Cheese.

8:00-10:00- Watch some classic Playhouse Disney reruns.

10:00-11:00- I normally cry for an hour, reminiscing on the glory days of Panic Switch,

11:00- 12:00- I go to the library to catch up on reading on Reptiles.

12:00-1:00- See if anyone commented on my Ugly Betty fan fiction.

1:00-3:00- World of Warcraft.

3:00-4:00- Try to watch some Dawson’s creek.  It stinks sometimes, because my dad wants to watch football and he makes me watch it with him.  It usually only lasts for a few minutes before I cry and get to watch Dawson’s Creek.

4:00-6:00- Do my homework.  Sometimes I do extra math problems to stay sharp.

6:00- 8:00- Skype with my grandmother.

8:00-8:30- I tweet about my crazy weekend!  I hashtag random people from Newark Academy.  It’s pretty silly of me.

8:30- Go to sleep! I have school the next day!