By Lila Rimalovski ’15, Staff Writer

Every year, the administration and faculty work tirelessly to continue to evolve our scholastic experience. After much deliberation, the following changes have been passed unanimously by the Curriculum Committee:

1. All pre-calculus math classes will be taught using sign language and braille.
2. Sixth grade science will include an extensive research project in the chemical make up of clam strips.
3. TOK will be known as IDK.
4. All IB Bio students must reassemble a broken HP Photosmart printer, on command.
5. Swahili will replace the word “Newark” anytime it appears in the Newark Academy Course Guide.
6. Film Studies will now spend September to March analyzing Moonrise Kingdom, and April to June dissecting the Jared Gillman Verizon commercial. Nothing else.
7. Photography will return in the form of “IB Instagram Studies HL”, where students will learn the societal, cultural, and moral implications of their Instagram filter choices.
8. Sixth grade French will be converted into a croissant-making seminar, in which students make delicious pastries and pass them out in every morning meeting. No exceptions.
9. AP US History will fuse with Chemistry Honors in an attempt to ruin every student’s life  promote interdisciplinary skills.
10. This is not really a ‘curriculum proposal’, but from here on, all teachers shall be addressed by the first initial of their first name, followed by the first syllable of their surname. For example, T-Gill (Mr. Gilbreath), D-Au (Mr. Austin, not to be confused with the common phrase “d’awww”), and last but not least, J-Ball (Mr. Ball).