By Joe DeNoon ’13, Humor Editor

This will be my final article as Humor Editor.

Well, I have to say it has been a blast. I’ve really enjoyed making all twelve of you that read this laugh, chuckle, or do that exhalation of air when something is mildly amusing. There you go. That noise.

As I’m leaving the humor section next year to go off to college, I am concerned with preserving it for the future. I don’t want archeologists of the future to think Newark Academy was a place devoid of laughter.

With Greg, Matt, and I bidding you adieu, the underclassmen need to step up to the task. We are summoning you to our secret club. This is a fellowship of humorous, sometimes offensive writers.

So here are my top ten tips for getting people to laugh:

1. Yell.
2. Whisper.
3. Use a Scottish Accent.
4. Quote a TV show.
5. Please Don’t Quote TV Shows.
6. Confuse Your Readers.
7. Pretend to fall down. Or, if you’re clumsy, be yourself.
8. You know those glasses with the big nose and mustache attached? Yeah, put those on. Hilarious.
9. Provide an insightful commentary on modern politics through satirical form.
10. Poop Jokes

I’m really going to miss this school.

I want to share some wisdom with you. Do your homework. Study hard. The entrance to the clock tower is *CENSORED* . You’ll do well. I have faith in you. You’re the only ones we’ve got.