By Max “Door Hinge” Whitmore ’14, Humor Editor and Sydney “Sydney” Mann ’14, Staff Writer

Here at The Academy, there is a time and place for everything… it’s known as senior year. As your high school years come to a fast close, it’s easy to feel like you haven’t made the most of each and every day. So, senior year is the optimal time to cram in the wildest activities possible. To help you all, we (Show MeThe CarMax and Smannah Montana) have devised the ultimate senior year bucket list. So go ahead, read the list and decide for yourself, but as Drake once said, “YOSYO” (You Only Senior Year Once) so don’t pass up on the options that seem the most ridiculous. In fact, we recommend doing those first.

1. Apply Early Decision to the University of Pennsylvania.
2. Before entering a Socratic seminar in English class, tell your classmates to only speak in the 3rd person.
3. Discuss the events surrounding WWII with Mr. Parlin until his vocal chords give out. Warning: This conversation will last forever.
4. Victoria Justice is old news… Ask both Drake and Josh to your senior prom!
5. On convocation, wear nothing but spandex to school and get away with it.
6. Have a senior movie marathon the night before your 12 IB and 7 AP exams.
7. Fly to Aspen with Teddy Steffens as your pilot, collect exactly 1 square meter of snow, fly back to America. Place the snow directly outside Mr. Austin’s house to create the façade of a snow day.
Note: This ploy has a 6 out of 78 success rate.
8. Even if you did not apply to Harvard, on Ivy League decision day, wear a Harvard shirt and brag to everyone about how you are 101% positive you will be accepted.
9. Reminisce on the glory days of Panic Switch while you watch OSG (we still don’t know what it stands for) perform at morning meeting.
10. Convince Matt Ratner that baseball is not a sport, and instead is just a figment of his imagination.
11. Check if it’s snowing on the other side of the school with Arky.
12. Flash rave in the library during exams. When you are told to be quiet, start silent raving.
13. Skinny dip in the pool while Mr. Blomn is on the treadmill in the weight room.
14. Wear jeans for an entire week. When Ms. Galvin asks why you chose to blatantly disregard the dress code, respond that you are conducting a “social experiment” but do not provide any elaboration.
15. Use the auditorium as a movie theater for the day, having Mark Dempsey as your emcee for the ultimate film appreciation experience. #CinephileCentral
16. Break the 15-minute rule for an entire week. For details on how to accomplish such a feat please refer to Zach Epstein’s humor article titled “Top 10 Ways to Eat at 11:30.”
17. Have an epic game of tag on the roof with Mr. Bitler and call it a “lab experiment.”

Disclaimer: The humor section is not responsible for any detentions, suspensions or expulsions. However, we do take full responsibility for any money that is acquired or relationships that are formed along the way.