By Sydney Mann ’14, Staff Writer

When members of The Polymnian sat down for our annual summer meeting, we, the stylish staff, came to a brick in the road—a metaphorical traffic jam on Parsonage Hill (not caused by Hannah Zack) if you will. Realizing that not enough emphasis was placed on the faculty, I suggested we give the teachers more recognition. That, like many of my ideas, was immediately shut down. People fervently screamed “No Smann” or “Smannah go home, we want Miley!” Like why not Sydney? Typical—sorry if I want to give attention to the wonderful faculty that make up this glorious school (shout out to those who have to deal with me this year, y’all are super wonderful, keeping midterms in mind). Well, sadly I was overruled but here is the list of superlatives that didn’t make the cut for the yearbook. Enjoy!

Most Likely to Sleep through an Earthquake—Don Austin (and Don Austin only)

Gets Away with the Most Trouble—Robert Bitler

Best Dressed—Ms. Powell and Mr. Pursell (#OOTD)

Most Likely to Quietly Take Over the World—Mr. Griffin… (insert awkward silence here)

Most Prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse—Ms. Galvin (but only in accordance with the fire safety regulations)

Most Contagious Laugh—Ms. Masterson

Most Likely To Make Fetch Happen—Ms. Gordon (in a vegan way)

Most Frushable (Tan Frushable)—Profe and Mr. Weiss

Most Likely to be on Broadway—Mr. Jacoby as Tevye

Most Huggable—Dr. Hobson and Señor Gomez

Biggest Teacher’s Pet—Sydney Mann (oh how embarrassing how did THAT get in there???)

Too Cool for School—Marquis Scott (who could not be available for a picture if we were to have those)

If you or your friends (assuming you have any) would like to submit suggestions for any teachers who you think deserved a superlative, please email me at smannymorelli14@newarka.edu. Thanks!