By Congresswoman Lila Rimalovski ’15, Humor Staff Writer #islandschool

After I returned to the bustling streets of Livingston, NJ and the pastel pant-filled halls of Newark Academy, I felt that the school community posed a question that remained unanswered.

What really happens when you go to a semester school?

Wow, I’m blushing. I’m really honored, of course I will answer it. Contrary to popular belief, we don’t live in Mr. Austin’s basement. We don’t all become vegetarians, cut our hair, try to recycle and return thinking that we are better than the rest of the school—although this has been a common theme among almost every semester school student. Really, all semester kids really want is for you to recognize their HMI, Mountain School, Chewonki, SEGL, SYA, or Island School keychain on their backpack.

I experienced this validation just yesterday when Rory Tell, a true visionary of our generation, told me “I like your keychain.”

Thank you, Rory, it means a lot.

Anyway, I figured I would offer brief descriptions about the various semester schools that Newark Academy offers to clear up any confusion.

The High Mountain Institute: located in the most elevated town in the entire universe, where granola is served for all meals and you can only wear Birkenstocks with socks. A new addition to the program was added this past year called “wifi” (password to the network: wedontshower).

Motto: No shave November, and all the months before and after that.

School Year Abroad: a school year you spend abroad.

Motto: You spend a school year abroad.

The Mountain School: the eldest semester school, which has an ego like Regina George and breeds young, enthused, flannel-wearing New Englanders, who love Emily Dickinson and eating homegrown radishes.

Motto: Where are your duck boots?

The School for Ethics and Global Leadership: the ‘Harvard’ of semester schools, where everyone has already had four internships, got 2500s on their SATs in seventh grade and often spends Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night studying for math tests that they already know the answers to. Also the one that yours truly attended.

Motto: You can be better.

The Island School: #islandschool #weareallblonde #cult #scuba #pescatarians #rainbows #islandschool #thisisntreallyaschool #weareonvacation #athletic #islandschool

Motto: #islandschool

If these descriptions have you interested in applying to a semester school, please see expert Rory Tell, Grade 10.