By Erin Mooney ’16, Humor Editor

After an unusual spike in tardiness at Newark Academy, The Minuteman decided to do a feature on late arrivals at Newark Academy. While Ms. Duszak has said she enjoys reading the clever excuses, she has found that recently, far too many people have reported “dragons.” Even more confusing, one student has had 23 “lates” this semester alone, and has used the same excuse every day.  The writers went to Ms. Galvin to look for more information on the phenomenon, and she directed them towards the following investigation:

After 23 missed morning meetings during this semester alone, Ms. Galvin became skeptical of Erin Mooney’s shenanigans. Each day she signed in with the same legitimate excuse, but Ms. Galvin began to question the legitimacy when she signed in late with the same excuse 23 times this semester. With a little research, Ms. Galvin quickly found Erin’s twitter: @ShowMeDaMooney, which she had been tweeting from every morning. The following is an accurate record of the events that lead to Erin’s tardiness on March 25, 2014.