By Tori Molinari ’17, Staff Writer

1.)   Move the microphone around a lot; it will be sure to distract Dr. D from the fact that you’re wearing a sweatshirt.

2.)   No announcement is complete without the use of “uh,” “so,” or “um.”

3.)   You should definitely read your announcement from your phone if you want to seem prepared.

4.)   When you don’t remember exactly where the meeting is, assume it’s in one of the forties.

5.)   Make an announcement in German so that Newark Academy students can expand their cultural horizons.

6.)   In the special case of a sports victory, make sure to take an extra long pause and look towards the crowd, expecting their applause.

7.)   Use candy as a bribery, because this treat will make the entire school, not just the actual members of the club, show up!

8.)   YARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

9.)   Start walking away from the microphone before you finish talking, leaving everyone in suspense.

10.) Move the mic up, down, left, right, smile, and then walk away.

11). Rap.