By Jackson Powers ’20, Staff Writer

Every year, the population of our nation battles many forms of addiction corrupting the people around us. But recently, there have been more and more cases of a new threat to our society: video game addiction. Many people get lost in these virtual worlds for so long, that they forget their own. It is a sad fate to become so absorbed in a life that is not your own.

Every year, too many people lose their relationship with society simply because they decide to stay indoors, playing as a virtual menace. And what, might you ask, is the most logical course of action once you make the decision to value a video game over real life? Blame the publisher of course! It is no secret that the publishers are evil people who seek to ruin your lives. And the publishers never directly state that you need to actually use up time in your life to play these video games. And of course, they never warn you when you’ve been playing for too long:

Nor do they ever tell you how long you’ve been playing for:

These poor players have been unfairly sucked into a virtual world without warning, and it in no way relates to their personal life decisions. These people are absolutely blameless.

If you are a victim to this growing threat, speak up! Many grown adults across the world are starting to stand up for themselves, and sue these publishers. These publishers create these games with the sole idea of ruining your lives. It has nothing to do with entertainment value. In early 2016, a Russian player of a popular RPG (role-playing game), Fallout 4, sued Bethesda Softworks after he lost his job, his wife left him, and he lost custody of his children all thanks to this evil game. Unfathomably, the court did not rule in the favor of this poor man, even with a case that was so incredibly stacked against Bethesda. The world is biased right now, ignorant of these heartbreaking cases until they become one. Darn the liberal media! They don’t understand that people never play video games by choice. It has nothing, I repeat, nothing, to do with poor life decisions or lack of responsibility.

In 2010, two parents in South Korea actually starved their baby daughter to death as they were busy playing a game online. The couple was so sucked into the game, which involved raising virtual children ironically enough, that they actually raised their fake kids to be happy and healthy. These parents were spoken of as “unfit to raise children.” Children schmildren. Did anyone think to blame the physical object that cannot actually force a grown human to do anything? Of course not. They just don’t understand.

From the player who died after a 40-hour gaming session, to the kid who pretended to go to school for weeks, only to turn around and game at home after the parents were gone, only one thing can be said. Get your lives together people. These companies assume that humans have the smallest bit of common sense preventing them from wasting their lives for a virtual one. You are homo sapiens (yes, I just assumed your genus), the most capable animals the world has seen, gifted with the (evermore questionable) power of mental reasoning. Even most 6-year-olds can see that blaming a video game for your problems is idiotic. I’m a gamer, and I’ll have you know I’ve only put 370 hours into Fallout 4. I have great self control. I also have wonderful grades. Except math. And English. And Spanish. And… well, never mind. I need help. Help me, please.