By Jack Osmond ’22, Staff Writer

Halloween should be a time enjoyed by adolescents. It’s a great time to let go of angst and do stuff that you shouldn’t do, ever. While you’re reading this list, it’s important to keep in mind that literally nothing is illegal, because it’s Halloween.

1. Buy some spray paint and vandalize expensive looking things. Some great ideas of things to vandalize include strangers’ houses, government buildings (fight the power), and anything else you’d never even lay a finger on during a normal day of the year.
2. Jump in front of oncoming cars while screaming “boo.” That’ll scare the driver real good! (extra points if you’re wearing all black)
3. Stay up as late as possible. It’s a holiday, so there won’t be any school the next day.
4. When it starts to get late (10ish) go to old people’s houses in last minute costumes and ask for candy. They’ll be so grateful you came to get it, no one is coming anymore.
5. Have a party. Blast music really loudly with all of your windows open. (Your neighbors won’t care)
6. TP your least favorite teacher’s house. Actually, TP all of them, because equality!
7. Light a tree on fire and make spooky shadow puppets in the spirit of Spooktober.
8. Record all of this and put it on the internet. Make sure to tag Newark Academy, and wear NA gear while doing all of this.