By Theodore Carlson McGraw ‘20 and Michael Ming Wang ‘20, Humor Editors

For the past six years, every school morning started the same way:

I woke up, took a shower, brushed my teeth, ate a wholesome banana, and got into the car. I used to walk up the front steps to school at 7:55 at the latest. But now, in our technology-driven world and our fast paced society, with no time for genuine human interaction, we are becoming pawns to the bourgeoisie (in its most Marxist sense). 

As of now, two major disturbances have altered the fluidity of my utopian morning routine. They are, in no particular order because they all stink: crammed morning meetings in the gym and the increase in bumper-to-bumper traffic. 

It’s hot. It’s sweaty. It’s moist. I’m scared of farting. Sandpaper seems to be rubbing against my shoe. As I take a second look, I realize it is my classmate’s coarse khaki pant leg. This is what we’ve come to. A scramble. A fight to the death for leg room and oxygen to breathe. Not all will survive. 

Morning meeting was a nice sense of ritual that we used to have. We were snuggled comfortably in the plush red seats in the Rose Auditorium, blessed with the clarity of the sound system and acoustics, and most importantly, organized. Now there is chaos. A dark storm cloud hangs over every morning meeting. The natural order has been disturbed. The halflings (freshmen and middle schoolers) get to sit on the mats and are gifted the opportunity to leave first. I guess the senior class will never know what it’s like to be top dog. Morning meeting used to be a nice way to start the day; now I don’t even know if I will be able to make it on time. 

I used to get to school in fifteen minutes. I enjoyed that car ride. I had enough time to listen to a few tunes, take a power nap, and do the homework I forgot to do last night. Now, my mornings stink. It takes thirty minutes to get to school. The traffic is out of control. I miss out on my morning relaxation with my friends… I miss my friends and my zen. I used to love my friends. I was loved by my friends. Now my love is gone. I’m just a shell, hollow on the inside, lifeless on the out. Now I get to school with just enough time to maybe get a seat in morning meeting, and then I proceed to the rest of my day and all my classes. Without love. Without happiness. Without zen. It seems like everybody has a place to be. Zen dudes send it. 

I don’t have much else to say. I might just sound like a rambling old geezer. What do I know?

We’ve lost a little bit of what makes NA, NA.