By Luca Moretti ’20 and Jacob Amalraj ’20, Humor Writers

Newark Academy social media pages: we all let them follow us, but don’t follow back.  Sure, if we’re a part of the club, sports team, or group of people behind the page, we’ll follow.  But at the end of the day, a student eating chicken on a fitness account, seeing the Prisms deadline being pushed for the third time, or pictures of a sports team showering together is simply unappealing. 

The followers-to-following ratios are abysmal. Ratios like 210 to 463, and 169 to 257 speak volumes about the public’s opinion of these pages. The problem is the actual content from these pages: it’s informative, and no one wants informative content when they’re scrolling through their Instagram feed while on the toilet. 

Nevertheless, some Newark Academy pages have cracked the code to this coveted recipe for success: by being useful. For example, @adlumendining has achieved a positive ratio by actually having a purpose: showing the daily lunch menu. For all the softies trying to make the internet a “positive environment,” @nacompliments serves as a place for people to flex their accomplishments and feel better about their fragile egos. @adlumenmemes is an amazing place for people to be highlighted in the eyes of the school, showing the funny and creative sides of our accomplished students, while still remaining school appropriate. No wonder it is held in such high regard by the community. Lastly, the most successful and respected of all Newark Academy pages, @vikythiccyfanpage, distinguishes an exceptional member of the community while promoting green awareness and deforestation.

In summation, the use of Newark Academy social media accounts needs to be limited to matters of utmost importance to get all of this garbage out of my feed, so that the importance of spreading relevant news and creating an effective social media for NA students can finally come to fruition.

“You know what NA social media pages do wrong? They don’t know when to die.” -anonymous 2019