Nathan Hsu ’28, Feature Writer

Graphic of users texting in group chats (Photo courtesy of iStock). 

Here at Newark Academy, group chats are a staple of everyday life. Whether we are sending last-minute homework reminders or simply texting funny memories, we end up having most of our conversations through group chats. Although group chats may seem like a casual form of communication with friends, there are many unspoken dynamics that we all abide by — even if we don’t realize it. 

1. Participating

Some people are great at participating, replying to everything, reacting with tapbacks, etc. Others lurk — they observe, but don’t typically reply. Instead, they sit back and read, until they’re specifically mentioned, prompting a necessary reply. This behavior also shows itself in classroom discussions. Some people tend to jump at the questions while others slouch in the back, praying the teacher doesn’t cold call them. Group chats amplify this problem — allowing the person to hide behind a screen and oftentimes go forgotten. As fellow classmate, Ethan Suwankosai ’28, says, “I believe that text group chats in general lead to exclusion. These chats are online versions of friends groups. It’s just in this case, it is easier to exclude someone.” Since the person who texts often or frequently raises their hand in class might strip opportunities from others, this unspoken custom can lead to many misunderstandings. Being more aware of this dynamic would allow discussions to be more interesting and in-depth. 

2. Inside Jokes

Another unspoken dynamic in group chats is the unique “slang” that develops over time. Whether it be inside jokes, emojis with hidden meanings, or funny images, all group chats feature unique ways of communicating. At Newark Academy, where students come from different backgrounds, the unique language of group chats can strengthen friendships and act like a secret code only your friends can understand. To outsiders, however, it can be nearly impossible to decipher these messages, creating a divide. For example, the “secret language” can make the group chat feel isolating for new members that just joined. When someone can’t understand a joke, they can feel alone, and not truly a part of the conversation. As time goes on, the jokes and lingo increasingly accumulate, and the barrier becomes harder to overcome. Even existing friendships can sometimes weaken if you miss a hilarious message or image. The unique language, while sometimes strengthens bonds, can also sever them and push people apart. 

3. What happens in a group chat… doesn’t always stay in the group chat

While group chats are all online, they can have serious consequences in real life. For example, if someone’s words get misinterpreted through  text, it could cause them to get mistreated. They might be sitting in a class, walking in the hallways, or eating lunch with friends when a message they sent last night could become the center of discussion or even drama. On top of that, group chat “silence” can also have painful consequences in the real world. For example, if the message is left unread, or nobody responds, people might wonder if they said something wrong or are being ignored. Then, the next day at school, the feeling of being excluded can carry over, causing an inevitable cycle of worrying and overthinking. 

Not only are group chats a form of communication, but they can greatly shape our friendships and influence how we behave in-person. So, before sending a funny text, make sure you are mindful of how a group chat works and how it might affect you and your peers. By understanding and respecting these unspoken dynamics, we can create more inclusive spaces — whether in the Great Hall after school or sitting at home, giggling with friends.