By Chloe Zhou ’28, Humor Writer

A classroom in disarray… when the teacher is away… (Photo courtesy of FreePik)

It’s early in the morning and students all around me are stumbling into their classrooms. As I enter my classroom, I look up, ready to mumble good morning to my teacher, when I freeze, a familiar feeling overcoming me. We all know the feeling, the rush of exhilaration felt when walking into a class and seeing an unfamiliar face from behind the teacher’s desk. A substitute teacher! Relief washes over me, tinged with a bit of nervousness. Thank God, because I definitely did not do my homework. 

Let’s be real, everyone loves substitute teachers. It’s like having a break period — usually the teacher doesn’t assign much work or the substitute has no idea what’s going on. 

Unless… they do. 

Usually, however, you can tell in the first few minutes of class. The same judgemental thoughts run through every student’s mind.  

“Are they strict?”

“They probably won’t care if I don’t do my work.” 

“ If I sit facing toward the teacher’s desk, they can’t see what’s on my computer screen”

“Please just sit at your desk. Please do not get up and walk around monitoring our work”

All this thinking has led me to create the following run-down of all the different substitute teacher types. 

The Chill Sub: (Most Common)

This substitute is probably just as tired as you are. They will read out the lesson plan, write it on the board, and then sit back at the desk and zone out. The students could be eating, playing games, doing other work, or anything else, and this sub won’t care. 

The Blissfully Unaware Sub: (Rare)

This substitute probably hasn’t subbed much or is a substitute full-time; there’s no in between. This type of substitute teacher is rarer, as opposed to normal subs who are busy teachers and only substitute when they are required to. They are very nice and cheerful, but have no idea what to do when students act up or slack off. They also have no idea just how perilous a classroom can be. 

The Slightly Strict Sub:

This substitute has a fear of loud noises. You could be talking at a normal volume with a classmate and they will get upset and demand quiet. They are usually pretty chill, however, and always say, “as long as it’s quiet, I can be nice.”

The Strict Sub: (Feared)

This substitute will read out all the instructions and ensure the students complete everything down to the letter. They will walk around monitoring everyone, and will yell if you are doing something like checking your email. They won’t let you do other things when finished, either. 

So, now you know how the gears turn inside every student’s brain when they see a substitute teacher. After a few minutes, they always breathe a sigh of joy, or a sigh of defeat.  Luckily for me, on that specific day, my sub was the chill type and I managed to finish my homework.