By Gregory Ruda, Humor Editor

The following article is not based on actual events.  The names, places, have been modified to ensure the safety of the participants of this ridiculous conversation… for no reason because this didn’t happen at all. In any way.

Virginia: Hey Marcus!

Marcus: Hey Virginia!

Virginia: We should probably start thinking about prom beach houses.

Marcus: We are sophomores….

Virginia: Still we have to put the deposit on soon!  Or else we won’t be able to go!  We need to start this early!  Urgency!  Loud Noises!

Marcus: We haven’t even had junior prom yet.  I am in Amex….

Virginia: Come on Come on Come on!

(Angela walks in)

Angela: Hey guys!

Virginia: Angela!  I put you on my list for a prom house!  We are going to go to Seaside Lows.

Angela: Seaside Lows?!  That was utterly destroyed by Tsunami Mandy!  It is unsafe, and there is no clean drinking water.  I have already put the down payment for Short Shore Peninsula! (S.S.P)  I am bringing my pals Stefani, Roxy, and Lola.  I refuse to go to Seaside Lows.  We should bond and party together!

Virginia: Seaside Lows is fine!  I have gone and checked, inspected every crevice, run experiments to test the strength of the local police, and personally made sure there isn’t a speck of dirt anywhere.

Angela: False.

Virginia: You are mean!

(Douglas, who has been on the side, appears)

Douglas: Why is this happening?  This is pulling us apart!  We used to be so close…. I know someone will say something stupid and mean and condescending and crazy in order to get laughs facebook likes, and it will get many likes, but I feel like this needed to be said!

(Douglas weeps hysterically)

Nate: Something Stupid and Mean and condescending and crazy!

Marcus: Like!

Virginia: What was that?  Do you even go here?

Douglas: Yeah… No… I go to Kushner.

Angela: Yikes.

Virginia: Also Seaside Lows requires us to get a parent’s signature.

Angela: Short Shore Peninsula doesn’t… and it is much cleaner.  It doesn’t have serial killers running around, has no curfew, does not have orange tanned reality show stars and isn’t the worst place on the planet.

Virginia: Well… I disagree with that.  Let’s continue this on facebook later and say really mean things to each other and tomorrow we won’t acknowledge each other in school and will pretend things are fine!

Angela: Sounds great!

Marcus: We are all 14….

THE END