By Lila “Lil A (Say it like Lil Wayne)” Rimalovski, ’15, Staff Writer

WELCOME TO THE 2013-2014 HUMOR SECTION ALDHFGAHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Before I begin, I would just like to thank the academy and my amazing director for giving me this opportunity. T-Pan, you da bomb. Secondly, I would like to thank the maintenance crew, Jayme, and Mr. Gilbreath for everything this season; it has truly been a huge success. And last but not least, I would like to thank my true love, my Newfoundland-Labrador mix who never ceases to leave balls of fur all over the house, Buddy. You are my life, my soul, and my dog. And shout out to Jbiebs for lifting my spirits whenever I’m down.

So, fan base, this is for you five. I would like to introduce a few of the Humor Writers for the upcoming year.

Max Whitmore, Grade 11, everybody. You may have seen him on YouTube, you may have seen him on Disney Channel’s “Pass The Plate with Brenda Song,” or you most likely know him because he smells nice. He enjoys the thrill of instagramming fruits and the potent odor of whiteboard markers. You can always find him in his natural habitat, the Maintenance Closet, as his favorite hobby is making faces out of mop heads. He’s a great pal to pick you up when you’re down or to make knitted ponchos. He also believes he is a reincarnation of Carly Ray Jepson.

Thomas Pan ’14. Editor. Savior. Beloved Husband. Noodle Chef. Polo Player Extraordinaire. He has basically done everything you will ever want to do in your life. A quote, “People have asked me if I can communicate with God. I close my eyes and make a series of humming noises. Then I say, ‘I just did.’’

No explanation is necessary

As for me, I’m pretty busy juggling between my position in the Global Speaker Series Committee and JV Girls Lacrosse Goalie. You can find me taking uncomfortable selfies with the faculty in the English Office.

Please stay tuned for a possible feature with Mark Dempsey

Any lack of humor in this article is resulting from editing by the faculty advisors.