The Minuteman

The Official Newark Academy Newspaper

How to Keep Him Yours

Aditya Srivatsan ’15, Staff Writer

Hello Ladies. I realize that my previous column was directed solely toward men, so I decided to write this article to focus on helping you girls out. A pressing issue for girls is making a good impression on the first date, so here are some tips to help you out.

This photo probably should be explained, but the humor section feels as though it is best left alone. Courtesy of Greta Skagerlind '14.
This photo probably should be explained, but the humor section feels as though it is best left alone. Courtesy of Greta Skagerlind ’14.

(1) Kiss

This time I mean it, actually go in for the kiss. Boys love to kiss (at least I think they do). I mean, I have never kissed one. Anyway, you should definitely kiss him early on in the date, instead of the traditional goodnight kiss. Usually when I’m on dates, I hint at the kiss for the whole evening, and finally when we get to her doorstep I lean in. Oftentimes I get a: “Oh sorry my parents are watching,”  or, “I’m moving to France.” Regardless, get it done early on.

(2) Dress to Impress

How do you impress guys? Look at the cross-country team; we have guys chasing us all the time. Short shorts, tight shirts and Max Whitmore are all you need.

(3) Act Smart

I personally think smart girls, especially when it comes to math, are cool. Try the line: “I hear you’re good at algebra…..Will you replace my eX without asking Y?” There’s a reason they’re called MO’s.

(4) Pick Up Lines:

Yes, pick up lines can go both ways, and even if you are on a date, a couple of them won’t hurt boosting your boyfriend’s confidence. A few examples are:

“Is you dad robo cop, ’cause your arms are guns.”

“Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.”

If you still don’t have a boyfriend and are unable to try these amazing tips, I’m always available. Call me and find out why they call me el Tigre.