By Jack Lawler ’11, Humor Editor

American Colonists: So done with paying these taxes on tea…into the Harbor with you!

December 16^th, 1773 at 7 a.m. via Facebook for iPhone

Great Britain: You’ll sincerely regret this one colonists!

December 16^th, 1773 at 7:01 a.m.

Colonists: Please, bring it on. You got nothing.

December 16^th, 1773 at 7:05 a.m.

Great Britain: Did we “have nothing” when we beat you in cricket this season? Ha! Superior athletic prowess!

December 16^th, 1773 at 7:21 a.m.

Thomas Paine: But Britain is the parent country, say some. Then the more shame upon her conduct. Even brutes do not devour their young, nor savages make war upon their families.

December 16^th, 1773 at 7:22 a.m.

Thomas Paine: Really, guys, it’s just common sense.  Lol

December 16^th, 1773 at 7:23 a.m.

Great Britain: You’ve made a carefully crafted argument that I can’t think of a comeback to, so I’m just gonna point out that we’re slightly better at sports than you.

December 16^th, 1773 at 8:01 a.m.

Napoleon: Yo Britainnnn, Paine just put you on BLAST son.

December 16^th, 1773 at 8:11 a.m.

George Washington: Napoleon, why are you even here? Stop trolling man.

December 16^th, 1773 at 8:21 a.m.

Thomas Jefferson: Ok, I’ve had enough of this. I think I speak for all of us when I say all men are created equal (except for my black slaves) and I will not stand for this tyranny. We declare our independence! (Britain, for more information, see the document I sent you. It’s saved as a docx file so you might not be able to upload it if your software’s not updated enough)

July 4^th, 1774 at 11:21 a.m.

Paul Revere: Wait, so is it one if by land and two if by sea or the other way around?

April 18^th, 1775 at 11:42 p.m. via Facebook Mobile

Paul Revere: Seriously guys, I need to know. They’re starting to get close

April 18^th, 1775 at 11:52 p.m. via Facebook Mobile

Paul Revere: Whatever, I’m winging it. Brb

April 18^th, 1775 at 11:59 p.m. via Facebook Mobile