By Benjamin Berkowitz ’18, Staff Writer

As students of Newark Academy, we all have very busy day-to- day lives, full of academics and extracurricular activities. When you are really swamped you probably wonder (like I do): “are people really as busy as me?”

I wanted to answer this question, so I decided to pick a standard NA student to follow around to see what an average day is truly like. I chose tenth grader Christopher Porter.

To make sure I got the right guy for this experiment, I asked around about him, and got some riveting answers. When asked if she knew Chris, Maria Armas ’18 said “no.” Similarly, when asked if she knew him, Mrs. Powell-Caldwell said “no.”

I had never talked to him before but (especially after these comments) I couldn’t think of a better person to interview.

This is his average day:

7:30- Christopher woke up. He said he usually wakes up earlier, but the night before he was cramming for a chemistry test – in typical NA fashion

7:45- Chris finally rolled out of bed after hitting the snooze button 3 times. He went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth. After that he rinsed his face of and put on his human skin mask.

8:30- Chris’s first class was acting. Mr. Jacoby told the class that they had to “shed their skin,” in order to be good actors. An innocent comment, but it made Christopher slightly nervous.

9:30- Chris’s next class was: ABEQC calculus accelerated honors. His friends told me that he aces every test, but doesn’t even try. I thought I could learn some tips, so I looked in is notebook, and saw a language full of strange markings. I copied some down, “ ⚋ ⚊ +⌌ ⌍ ⌎ ⌏=23, ⌐ ⌑ /⌔ ⌕= ⌑ .” I didn’t think too much of it because hey, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.

12:30- During lunch Chris didn’t eat anything. When I questioned him, he said, “human food does nothing for me, I only need zenugalupium extracted proteins in my bloodstream to live.” I laughed! That sounds pretty cool.

For the rest of the school day nothing too exciting happened.

2:30- School ended and Chris headed over to the nature trail. He came to an opening in the trees and looked up. He started chant “ixbi odanu” over and over until a large circular ship appeared in the sky. “Weird,” I thought but shrugged it off. A freshman was also on the trail, and Christopher immediately ran to him. Let’s just say that now that freshman knows what the frogs he dissected in biology feel like (he killed him, it was graphic).

After that, the sky started glowing and suddenly we were in the ship. Christopher removed his skin mask revealing a dark green face and big yellow eyes. “Really weird,” I thought, but shrugged it off.

Christopher ran over to his dad, who looked furious. His dad was yelling in their language and pointing at me, and I felt bad- was I making them angry? Before I could think, his dad approached me. The rest of the day is hazy.

After: I woke up in my own bed feeling sick. I felt a weird bump on my neck. I didn’t think too much of it – maybe a mosquito bite.

I set out to find how NA students balance having not only a good academic career, but also a strong social life, and after my day with Christopher, I can now proudly say that he is the perfect example of an NA student. I think we should all strive to be like him. God, I feel so sick.