by Ryan Gajarawala ’18, Staff Writer

In October 2017, the hashtag #MeToo spread virally across all forms of social media encouraging those impacted by rape or sexual assault to share their story and give the public a sense of the magnitude of this issue. Tarana Burke, a founder of the movement who was dubbed “a silence breaker” by Time Magazine, created the phrase to help survivors realize they are not alone. As sexual assault was previously a taboo subject in discussion or on social media, the hashtag has initiated a revolution to incite conversation and change the male-dominated culture, starting with one of the most vile acts of domination – sexual assault.

In early January 2018, a woman by the pseudonym of Grace told the following story: “I went on a date with Aziz Ansari. It turned into the worst night of my life.” In her documentation of a date with Aziz Ansari after the 2017 Emmys, Grace describes her uncomfortableness at how quickly their interaction escalated from conversation to sexual activity. Although Grace exhibited non-verbal cues toward Ansari regarding her discomfort, he continued to perform sexual acts and was either not recognizing or ignoring her signals. She unsuccessfully used nonverbal cues to stop him, and she even labels the incident as “sexual assault.” The next day, she expressed her concerns to him via text, and he responded: “I’m so sad to hear this. Clearly, I misread things in the moment and I’m truly sorry.” This incident has sparked controversy among supporters and critics of the #MeToo Movement, regarding whether this event should be considered sexual assault.

Personally, I view the movement heavily focusing on tackling the pertinent issue of sexual assault, as opposed to initiating a culture shock and revolutionizing the male-dominated behavior that permeates dating culture. With reports and publicity of incidents such as the one described above, many believe that the reports of incident shifts the purpose of the movement away from its primary focus on sexual assault and rape. However, according to Tarana Burke, the initial purpose of the #MeToo Movement was to empower women—especially “young and vulnerable women of color”—through empathy. Within discussions with the Newark Academy community, students and teachers alike emphasized the goal of empowerment and courage to let all know they are not alone. Ms. Rezvani, the faculty advisor for POWER, described the initial outbreak on social media: “Men and women, friends of mine, [used] the hashtag #MeToo to show awareness of how many people have felt victimized by sexual assault and violence. It was shocking because it is daring to write that on social media; it was effective in showing awareness. The movement helps give victims backup or support that they are not alone and provides a platform for people to speak out.”

While all issues related to the widespread effect of patriarchal culture are important to discuss, the key to progressing in the movement is staying focused on sexual assault. Ms. Rezvani notes, “Not to say the woman was wrong or right in her speaking out, but unfortunately, situations regarding consent ultimately blur the movement’s mission. This often gives critics of the #MeToo Movement some ground to say that these sexual assault allegations are fabricated, undermining the progress of the movement overall.” The Ansari story evokes a necessary discussion of “What is consent?” Consequently, the movement has evolved from a discussion of sexual assault to a conversation of consent in general. According to Libby Stein ‘18, “Most people agree that Aziz Ansari is not a rapist or a sexual perpetrator, but that he did coerce [Grace] into having sex. The movement has become a place to say that all assault is not okay, no matter what form it comes in.” There exists a culture in which men are taught to take what they want and females are afraid to verbally decline, effectively leading to coercion into male sexual pleasure in the bedroom. Although sexual misbehaviors and uncomfortable situations should be eradicated, they should not be conflated.

Still, this movement cannot continue without a discussion of consent. We must acknowledge the difficulty women have with saying “no” by empowering them to decline unwanted sexual advances. Libby says that “in an ideal world, people would be continually asking for consent, but we don’t live in a perfect world. There are complaints that continually asking for consent isn’t romantic.” Ultimately, we should live in a culture where women are not forced to feel inherently hyper-aware and distrustful of their surroundings due to possible sexual advances and uncomfortable scenarios.

The future of the #MeToo movement is education and support. Teach young boys about respect, about consent, about kindness and courtesy. Teach young girls that it is okay to say no despite a patriarchal culture. The future of the movement is men and women uniting to fight this epidemic. Mrs. Rezvani describes that sexual assault “has never been called out to this extent before. People should now take it more seriously; it has become a reality that sexual assault does actually happen.” Libby Stein ‘18 even imagines “victims coming together, talking about their experiences in a much more open way than the past.” Every allegation must be heard and evaluated because every victim deserves a voice to speak out. The future is not about blame, it is about working toward a safer culture for all victims. Now is the time to learn and empower for the future.