Compiled by Cody Reid-Dodick ’13, Feature Editor

Most of the time, technology is used for incredibly serious things. Hospitals use it to detect and cure disease, the armed forces use it to defend our nation, and programmers continue to develop codes that expand the parameters of our knowledge. But sometimes, tech is used in less-important ways, or more appropriately completely useless ways. Without further ado, the feature section presents to you, the ten most pointless apps available for your smartphone.

1. HangTime – This gem for the iPhone consists of chucking your $500 device up in the air as high as possible without shattering it.

2. Do Not Press the Big Red Button – This one is pretty self explanatory. It consists of a big red button which you’re not supposed to, well, press.

3. Hair Clinic – Another iPhone low point: an app that claims to let off high pitched, yet inaudible, noises that stimulate growth of your hair. The best part? It costs $4.

4. Cow Toss – Difficult to understand this one at first: there is a big brown cow on the screen and you have to flick it with your finger.

5. I Am Rich – Developed solely to exude pretentiousness, this app costs a whopping $200 and consists of a one-setting display of a red ruby. The point? Show it off to your friends to prove you are rich. Of course, the hitch is actually having friends to show it off to, or at least ones materialistic enough to be impressed.

6. iMilk – Proclaiming to be a “dairy farm within your phone”, this app simulates the drinking of milk. Calcium not included.

7. Zips – For those of you enthralled by the action of zipping and unzipping articles of clothing, this one is for you.

8. Hold the Button – Almost as dumb as its cousin at #2, with a different premise but a similarly explanatory title.

9. Kiss Me – Computerized lips projected, user’s lips placed on germ infested screen – that’s the premise.

10. SimStapler – You know how there is never a stapler around when you need one? SimStapler solves that problem. Disclaimer: does not work on real paper (see  pointless, utterly).