Author: jlawler11
-
Revolutionary War Facebook Throwdown
By Jack Lawler ’11, Humor Editor American Colonists: So done with paying these taxes on tea…into the Harbor with you! December 16th, 1773 at 7 a.m. via Facebook for iPhone Great Britain: You’ll sincerely regret this one colonists! December 16th, 1773 at 7:01 a.m. Colonists: Please, bring it on. You got nothing. December 16th, 1773…
-
NewarkAcademyDictionary.com
By Jack Lawler ’11 and Andrew Morrison ’11, Humor Editors From the makers of Webster’s Dictionary comes the all-new source for Newark Academy specific words: Honor Code Violation (n): 1.) Something you will deeply regret in hindsight. Example: Sally: How your date with John last night? Caroline: To put it simply, he was an Honor…
-
Where Are They Now: Harry Potter Edition
By Jack Breene ’11, Staff Writer The last time we saw Harry Potter, also known as the “Boy who Lived” and the “Chosen One,” he was on the top of the world. He had just defeated his wizard nemesis, Lord Voldemort, and friends and family were anxiously anticipating his proposal to stone-cold fox girlfriend, Ginny…
-
Top Ten Reactions to Robot Unicorn
By Adam Hyatt ’11, Jason Diamond ’11, and Jake Gillman ’11, Staff Writers 10. I found a way to procrastinate procrastinating. 9. As soon as I heard the song, I immediately downloaded it on iTunes. 8. Was this unicorn severely injured and made into a robot, or was he born that way? 7. Anatomically, how…
-
Senior Bio
By Jack Breene ’11, Staff Writer and Jack Lawler ’11, Humor Editor Mom and Dad, thank you for supporting me in so many ways, especially financially. Sophie, that time you made me holdup that Chuckie Cheese’s in a loin-cloth. It was definitely the best Labor Day ever. Drake and Josh, you have been so meaningful to…
-
Top Five Reactions to Faraj Faraj
By Ben Shifrin ’13, Staff Writer 5. Is he really over 20? 4. Man, he is short! 3. Why is it suddenly so dark? 2. Hey! At least I am still awake. 1. Yeah yeah, enough about the Middle East! How about Faraj’s favorite thing about America?
-
Caption Contest!
By Jack Lawler ’11 and Andrew Morrison ’11, Humor Editors Want to win prizes so cool that the humor editors have not even thought of yet? Well, if you are lucky, your caption for each of these pictures below will be chosen as the funniest one, and you will win such secret prize (Oooooohhhh)! Send…
-
Top Five Reactions to Spirit Week
By Jake Gillman ’11 and Adam Hyatt ’11, Staff Writers 1) I really thought the middle school was going to win this year… until I heard their theme and saw their decorations, dodge ball skills, and skit. 2) I thought the freshman did a great job turning the L into a second black box, but…
-
NewarkAcademyDictionary.com
By Jack Lawler ’11 and Andrew Morrison ’11, Humor Editors From the makers of Webster’s Dictionary comes the all-new source for Newark Academy specific words: 1. Robe (v.): 1.) The spontaneous darkening of one’s wardrobe against one’s will (esp. when not in accordance with the Newark Academy Code of Appearance) Example: I was just walking…
-
Newark Academy Late Sign-In Sheet
Name Time Reason 1. Thelonious Lester 8:43 Tried to open my door and ripped it off the hinges 2. Zach Widmann and Shane Neibart 8:45 Trying to find a funny way to make our Darfur club announcements 3. Mike Alelov 8: 54 Fairies 4. Zach Shinske 9:33 Supporting cancer 5. Whit Harwood 11:17 Looking for…