Author: sbery17
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An Interview for the Incoming Humor Editors
By Sanya Bery ’17, Section Editor Since this is my last article for the humor section and I’ve done such a good job, I wanted to make sure I was leaving the newspaper in good hands. I decided to reach out to all the junior humor editors to make sure that they were smart enough…
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An In-Depth Study on All the Humor Writers
By Sanya Bery ’17, Section Editor Hey hey, I’m back! I was told by the Editors-in-Chief that my next article couldn’t be self-deprecating (apparently it’s unfunny, boring and slightly concerning). But, in the midst of all this I was insulted! Can you believe it? “Good luck writing a humor article if you can’t make fun of…
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Cups, Cups, Cups!!!
By Benjy Berkowitz’18, Good friend!!! The Oxford English Dictionary (which the library pays $295 dollars a year to subscribe to) defines the word cup as “A drinking-vessel, or something resembling it.” Now, we all know this don’t we? We drink from cups everyday to intake various liquids such as water. That’s great and all, but…
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We Asked the History Department What the Strangest Thing They’d Thrown at A Ghost Was
By Anne Ruble’17 and Ezra Lebovitz’18, Staff Writers Amy “Mama Schotts” Schottland: “I’ve never thrown anything at a ghost, honey. That isn’t really what the humanities are about.” When asked what the humanities were, in fact, about, Ms. Schottland proceeded to mumble nervously about the cosmic womb and wondered aloud whether we had some work…
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Being The Worst Snowboarder You Can Possibly Be: A Comprehensive Guide To Making Skiers Miserable
By Jackson Powers ’20, Staff Writer I’m sure many of you out there have always wondered: am I living up to my full potential as a snowboarder? Is there a better way to use my utter disregard of mountain etiquette to ruin and hopefully injure innocent skiers? This guide will answer all of these questions and…
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The Truth About the Bell Hertz, Doesn’t It?
By Benjy Berkowitz’18, Cool and Nice Guy and Also Friend! Good at Humor. Once again I find myself writing an article about the bell. My last exposé was ignored by the staff, but no matter. I think these articles belong in the news section because of the major weight they hold in the Newark Academy community. Anyways, this…
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I Serve Because…
By Anne Ruble’17 and Ezra Lebovitz’18, Staff Writers I was asked to tell NA why I serve. I wrote from my heart but apparently my heart isn’t “PC.” These are some of the rejected ones below: – I serve because: I firmly believe that Ms. Fischer has been secretly stealing all of my silverware to…
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10 Bells that Would Easily Beat Ours
By Jackson Powers ’20, Staff Writer Sometimes, here at NA, we need to be reminded of what’s important in life. By that, I mean the bell. We xenophobes here at Newark Academy must stand against this tyranny if we ever want to restore peace to our halls. Here is a list of 10 bells that…
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10 Reasons Why NA is the Best
By Amit Kundra’19, Staff Writer 1. The people. There are so many different types of people at NA. From the people who are good at life to those who are not to those who have no idea what they’re doing so they decide to write for the humor section of the newspaper because why not,…
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