Author: tpan14
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Cultural Shock
By Young Se Choi ’18 At one point in our lives, we are or will be ninth graders…unfortunately. Although most students from the class of 2017 say, “I’m getting into the swing of things” or “I can adjust,” by the looks of it, I think they miss the good ol’ middle school. After you become…
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“I Think, Therefore, I am” – Zombie Style
By Harry Echtman ’18 Are you prepared for the zombie apocalypse? Just warning you, it may be a little bit different than you thought… When most people think of a zombie they think, rotting flesh, craving brains, attacking people in swarms. Well, what if they looked like this photo? “But that’s just a normal person!”…
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Summer Movies of 2013
By Guilia Socolof ’19 So many great movie titles came out this summer, from May to August. Among these are Monsters University, Despicable Me 2, Iron Man 3, Star Trek, Percy Jackson, and Man of Steel. I conducted a survey of the entire middle school, and the results were that Despicable Me 2, with Steve…
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Newark Academy Senior Year Bucket List
By Max “Door Hinge” Whitmore ’14, Humor Editor and Sydney “Sydney” Mann ’14, Staff Writer Here at The Academy, there is a time and place for everything… it’s known as senior year. As your high school years come to a fast close, it’s easy to feel like you haven’t made the most of each and…
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Faculty Senior Facebook Names
By Matthew Press ’14, Staff Writer It seems to be a tradition now where every year seniors change their Facebook names to hide their scandalous activities from colleges. The Newark Academy Humor section has done some investigating of its own and found out some faculty member’s Facebook names from when they were seniors in high…
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O-Dog’s Dating Advice Column Issue 1
By Aditya “El Tigre” Srivatsan ’15, Humor Columnist 5 Tips to Improve Your Game We have all struggled, and we have all had our failures. That’s why people ask me to do this; they feel that as an experienced member of the game, I have good techniques to share with you. If it was unclear,…
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Surviving High School with Zachary Epstein Volume 2: “Lunch”
By Zachary Epstein ’14, Staff Writer Good morning (or afternoon, or evening) dedicated readers. Here at the Humor Section, we strive to make life easier for our diligent readers, and we usually have some sort of success. After looking at all the problems and obstacles facing our readers, we determined that there was one overwhelming…
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Our Future Lawyers From Newark Academy
By Charles Pan ’18, Middle School Editor Every day, we hear news and reports of Supreme Court cases. From gay marriage, to ObamaCare, sometimes even past cases such as Brown vs. Board of Education. The judiciary branch in our nation today is crucial, and lawyers and judges in cases can alter the course of history.…
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Are the Odds in Your Favor?
By Sophie Licostie ’19, Staff Writer Ask any sixth, seventh, or eighth grader in our school, and if the odds are in their favor, chances are they’ve heard of the Hunger Games trilogy, by Suzanne Collins. They probably have it on their top favorite book or movie list. Some kids have read the book, some…