BREAKING NEWS Senior Has No Regrets and Eats at 11:30 a.m. By Max Whitmore ’14, Staff Writer LIVINGSTON—Rationalizing that he has caught senioritis and thus can chow down on deep dish pizza whenever it so moves him, resident and student, Kamalpreet Lava Singh, 17, allegedly chose at 11:29 a.m. Tuesday that, screw it, he wanted…

By Lila “Lil A (Say it like Lil Wayne)” Rimalovski, ’15, Staff Writer WELCOME TO THE 2013-2014 HUMOR SECTION ALDHFGAHHHH!!!!!!!!! Before I begin, I would just like to thank the academy and my amazing director for giving me this opportunity. T-Pan, you da bomb. Secondly, I would like to thank the maintenance crew, Jayme, and…

By Dylan Flanagan ’16, Staff Writer My experience on the bus this year has been “interesting.” Due to enough kids going to NA in my town, they provided a public bus that has no affiliation with the school. We have had three different drivers and they have all found a way to get fired. I…

By Matthew Press ’14, Staff Writer Marquis Scott is a men among boys, the creator of photosynthesis, God’s perfect creation. He is the man everyone talks about throughout the halls. But what does Mr. Scott do on a normal day? Well it all starts early in the morning. 5:00 AM – He wakes up. 5:05…

By Noah Sellinger ’14, Staff Writer Write this article. Read this article. Create a fictional alias. Subsequently make a fake eHarmony account using the characteristics of said alias. Create inside jokes about yourself. Write NA Compliments about yourself using these inside jokes. DVR 60 Minutes. Watch a commercial-free 42 Minutes. Realize that CBS is deceiving…

By Greg Ruda, Humor Editor Oftentimes I have sat here, in my bed, swaddled in my manger robes with a warm pepper nut pipe in hand and a glass of eggnog, telling you adventures of my past.  Times spent with the former editor Tucker Iverson a.k.a. “Big Bobby”, whose party tricks are the stuff of…

By Matt Cowen ’13, Staff Writer I believe that every great speech should begin with a reference to another great speech. So here goes: Four score and seven years ago, umm, it was 1926? But 150 years before that, it was 1776. And we all know what happened in 1776. A Declaration of Independence was…

By Lila Rimalovski ’15, Staff Writer Every year, the administration and faculty work tirelessly to continue to evolve our scholastic experience. After much deliberation, the following changes have been passed unanimously by the Curriculum Committee: All pre-calculus math classes will be taught using sign language and braille. Sixth grade science will include an extensive research…