By Joe DeNoon, Le Staff Writer As many of you may know, Christopher Paolini recently left the halls of Newark Academy for the frozen wasteland that is France. He recently contacted me, and spoke of how truly different the country was compared to our own. To prove his point, he sent back some pictures he…

By Sensei Phoebe Feinberg, Blackbelt and Fortune Cookie Collector It is better to go thirsty than to drink from a cup of mediocrity, but even worse is to drink from a cup of regular iced tea labeled “Arnold Palmer”.-Phoebe Proverb When the world asks, “Who is without a flaw?” raise your hand and stand up…

 By Alex Liao ’13, Staff Writer and Greg Ruda ’13, Humor Editor We begin with Tucker Iverson.  Although many would argue that his controversial introduction was the only semi-entertaining aspect of Panic Switch’s morning meeting last June (which is now available on DVD for 14.96 + S&H.   But wait! There is more! If you call…

From the Desk of the Humor Editors (Yes, they gave us our own desk…but it’s outside…and it’s really a picnic table…and they didn’t even give it to us…) [vimeo 24544732 nolink]

By Greg Ruda ’13, Humor Editor Editor’s Note:  The following is an exposé on the history of the famed band Panic Switch.  This story has never been told outside of a remote teashop in the Himalayas, and should definitely be disclosed to anyone over the age of 103, as it may cause instant youth, with…

By Tucker Iverson ’12, Humor Editor and Varan Satchithanandan ’12, Commentary Editor On April 26th, 2011 Humor Editor Tucker Iverson and Commentary Editor Varan Satchithanandan sat down with Sophomore Stud Matthew Tobin to discuss his interesting, if not a little bit stressful life.  Matt, as you may have heard, is a veritable renaissance man with…

By Tucker Iverson ’12 and Greg Ruda ’11, Humor Editors General Tso: n. A mysterious man whose existence is very unlikely. He seems to claim ownership over a simple chicken, broccoli, and rice dish. Example: Gwendolyn: Hey Rafael, your lunch looks really delicious! Rafael: Oh, it’s not really my lunch.  It’s General Tso’s… Podium: adj. …

Dear Carissa, I really enjoyed reading your article last week, your advice really paid off.  In fact, I got asked to senior prom!  But now I have a new dilemma…I’ve been told I look like an alligator wearing high heels when I try to dance.  How do I improve my skills so I can look…

By Chris Paolini ’13 and Joe DeNoon ’13, Staff Writers Nessie Admits Plastic Surgery Many of you have been wondering whether Nessie, the famed monster of the deep, has become a famous actor.  Yes, Nessie is in fact Leonardo DiCaprio, whose name is an anagram for the famed beast.  As you can see by the…