The Minuteman

The Official Newark Academy Newspaper

Top Ten Ways to Leave Campus Without Being Noticed

By Gregory  “Consuela” Ruda ’13, and Ramus “Tucker” Iverson ’12

This is called a stop sign
1) Dig a tunnel using cafeteria spoons under the highway

2) Hide inside the Rat from the Union Strike

3) Get Mr. Bitler to build you a helicopter.

4) Invisibility cloak.

5) Get your mom to say you have a “strepped throat.”

6) Cling to the bottom of Ms. Galvin’s car as she leaves for lunch.

7) Getting slingshotted off the flagpole

8) Kiddush luncheon at Kushner.

9) Turn into an eagle.  Fly away.

10) Walk away.

 

This is a picture of Pikachu

This is Pikachu.  His significance to this article is yet to be determined…….