Category: Humor
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Dear Carissa…
By Carissa Szlosek ’12, Carissa Enthusiast Dear Carissa, My mom always tells me that I am what I eat. I don’t believe her. Best, I don’t remember eating a straight-A student today. Dear IDREAS-AST, Your mother is in the wrong. I don’t remember eating a brainiac today either. Sincerely, Carissa
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Newarkacademydictionary.com/peopleedition
By Tucker Hussein Iverson ’12 and Greg Herbert Walker Ruda ’13, Humor and Dictionary Editors n. Tucker Iverson Def: The funnier and better of the two humor writers. (Also he smells like the fresh breeze after a heavy rainstorm and he looks like a classical musician.) Antonym: Greg Ruda n. Elizabeth Coscia Def: The term…
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Top Ten Ways to Leave Campus Without Being Noticed
By Gregory “Consuela” Ruda ’13, and Ramus “Tucker” Iverson ’12 This is called a stop sign 1) Dig a tunnel using cafeteria spoons under the highway 2) Hide inside the Rat from the Union Strike 3) Get Mr. Bitler to build you a helicopter. 4) Invisibility cloak. 5) Get your mom to say you have…
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A Fresh Thanksgiving
By Willa Schwarz ’15 and Lila Rimalovski ’15, Staff Writers and Vacation Planners In this double featured article, two freshmen have compiled lists of what to do over thanksgiving break. Thanksgiving is approaching and Willa Schwarz, Freshwoman Staff Writer, has compiled a list of some choices you may have to make this coming vacation. Choices With Willa…
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Intro Del Humor IV
From the Desk of the Humor Staff Actually, that’s a lie…they took our desk away… [vimeo 31908682 nolink]
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Top Ten Rejected Global Speakers
By Greg Ruda ’13, and Tucker Iverson ’12, Humor Editors We talked to the Global Speaker Series Committee and we compiled a list of all the Global Speakers that have applied for the job, and were subsequently rejected…Here you go. 1) Route Ten Wendys Franchise Owner 2) Tiger Woods 3) Chef Boyardee (apparently he isn’t…
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Newarkacademydictionary.com
By Gregory “Greg” Ruda ’13, and Tucker “Tucker” Iverson ’12, Humor Editors Featuring a new… feature called “Thesaurus!” We will thesaurusize the words we define… enjoy! Pool Stairwell (n)- A place where people go to have deep emotional conversations. Example: Chuckie: Hey I don’t understand the philosophy homework that Mr. Creedence assigned! Can you…
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Twitter for Teachers
By Gracie McNeely ’12, Twitter Enthusiast and Molly Alter ’12, Teacher Enthusiast Twitter for Teachers Click the link above to see a collection of teacher twitter pages. Prepare to laugh, cry, and perhaps become overwhelmed by emotional outbursts of surprise or catharsis. Should teachers have a twitter? You decide…
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Dear Carissa…
Dear Carissa, People often mistake me for this other girl in my grade (let’s call her Proscia) . I can’t stand it. I am my own woman you know? Every time I hear some one call me Proscia I want to curl up in a ball (not the cute and cuddly type!) and die. How…